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SF’s “Crappy Valentine’s”: Send Your Ex Guinea Pig Poop

For a $5 donation, adorable guinea pigs at SF’s animal shelter will poop on your ex’s name
By - posted 2/11/2023 No Comment

To send a scatological, albeit symbolic, gesture toward an ex this Valentine’s Day, look no further than the guinea pig enclosure at San Francisco’s animal shelter. The shelter is offering “Crappy Valentine’s Day” cards that will be shredded and provide, ahem, excretory assistance to 30 guinea pigs currently in residence.

“Valentine’s Day have you feeling more crappy than happy? We can help! Our guinea pigs are ready to put their poop where it really counts: on your ex’s name!” the card reads. The cards are available on the San Francisco Animal Care and Control website. Simply fill in the first name and last initial of someone you are feeling crappy about.

Shelter spokesperson Deb Campbell said it’s the first time the San Francisco shelter has offered the service. Similar Valentine’s Day offerings, such as cards shredded for use in cat litter boxes, have been available at shelters around the country. Guinea pigs were chosen for the Valentine’s Day effort because the shelter has so many at the moment, Campbell said.

“Donate $5 to The Friends of SF Animal Care & Control and get your own salute to an ex, an enemy – or just someone who’d enjoy the excretory efforts of our shelter guinea pigs,” according to the shelter’s announcement. Adoption fees are reduced for guinea pigs at the shelter this month. “Only $10 and they’ll collaborate on cards with you!” according to the shelter.

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